cell phone jokes

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phone songs » All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes. Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or 3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-66333332 ...
shoes phone » He was an inventor of note. He created a big shoe with a phone in the heel. Now, he thought, he could use a phone whenever he wanted. He made several more so that he could have several shoes with phones in the house. One day, an emergency came up and ...
F.B.I. phone logs » The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. ...
Top Phone Answer Machine message » "We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we'll get back to, pending credit approval." Hi. This is John. If you are ...
Phone Answer Machine Message Collection 1 » Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does. . . . How do you leave a message ...
Phone Answer Machine Message Collection 2 » Odd Organizations This is the Literacy Self Test Hot line. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious". Thank you for calling the Confessional Hot ...
Phone Answer Machine Message Collection 3 » Can't Answer Right Now Because... Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera. (Automatic gunfire, ...
Phone Answer Machine Message Collection 4 » Befuddle The Caller (A busy signal.) -- Steven Wright (Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service. The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The n ...
Phone Answer Machine Message Collection 5 » Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does. . . . How do you leave a message ...
An FBI investigation » The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's ...
Telephone accident » The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the ...
I.R.S. phone calls » he following are actual phone calls made to I.R.S. offices across the United States. ------------------ Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single. IRS: Are you married? Caller: Well, sort of... IRS: What? Caller: Well, we did ...